Though we may not acknowledge it, most of us have a mental shopping list (or maybe a wish list!) of the qualities and traits we want our Christian dream man or woman to have.
Whether Christian dating online or off everyone has their own unique shopping list of preferences that they are looking for in a companion. The criteria are almost boundless. Men may be looking for a demure woman or a woman with a good sense of humor or brown hair. Most of these traits are things which we cannot control such as eye color, height etc. Women will not be able to appeal to all of the men all of the time, but you can appeal to many of the men much of the time!
You probably know someone who was looking for a certain type, but finally settled down with someone who supposedly was not his or her cup of tea in the beginning, right? The fact is that we all make concessions on our shopping lists. Most traits are negotiable, they are secondary, but some traits are not negotiable and are universal among men seeking a mate. These universal qualities are so crucial that they override all other traits on a man’s shopping list. Men do not know what it is intellectually that they need, but they do know intuitively. These universal traits are powerful!
Do you recall the cons who steal women’s hearts? They have mastered the art of projecting these universal traits which women need but are not cognizant of. Hopefully you will be dealing with Christian singles and not cons, but wolves do sometimes come in sheep’s clothing. We’ll be covering what exactly to watch for to spot a con later.
Your future mate may not have gotten what he thought he wanted on his shopping list when he chose you. But because you appealed to his deepest needs he will not regret his decision in choosing you instead of the blonde or redhead.
Do you recall reading the following old proverb, Christian singles:
“A man’s strength is his charm just as a woman’s charm is her strength.”-Havelock Ellis
A woman’s charm (or virtue) is her strength. Think on this statement just a moment, this is your first clue to the universal traits which a man intuitively seeks out in a mate. Gold diggers project this trait and many men fall for it because unfortunately in today’s culture charm (or grace) has been redefined by many to mean false beauty. This is to stand the truth on it’s head!
“Beauty without grace is the hook without the bait.” – Ralph Waldo Emerson
You may find that this brings to mind starlets and pop-tarts who are pretty, but sadly live self-destructive lives, and who risk an eternal future without our loving God. We must pray for them to come to the realization that life without a Savior is without true contentment and joy.
Charm can only come from within, it does not come from beauty or wit or even fine clothing. It’s fruits are goodness, humility, kindness, and wisdom. I don’t want to ruin anyone’s book sales on ten reasons why honesty and humility are passé in these modern times, but they are crucial in areas of romance and relationships. If you think that it does not take a strong woman to practice these then you probably have never tried them on for size.
All men, whether going through a Christian singles service such as this or not, are looking for virtue in their mate. Therein lies loyalty. Ladies if you falter on any area of virtue they will intuitively question your loyalty to them and the family. They need to feel secure in their relationship, they need assurance to build upon. Men don’t sit around and figure these things out like I just outlined; they know these things in their gut, they may not be emotional beings, but they know. Christian singles, I hope you are beginning to catch my drift that men and women understand each other very well, we need to acknowledge that fact.