Prepare To Have Your Ribs Tickled
It’s time to take our medicine again! Don’t I sound like a nurse? You know the kind; a no-nonsense woman, usually tall and shaped like a refrigerator, ( probably a drill sergeant in WW2, ) carrying a tiny paper cup with pills in it. You knew there were no options about taking your medicine. You were just glad she wasn’t headed your way with some contraption which had a long tube or hose on it, which is never a good sign! But this medicine is sweet, and it’s only purpose is to make your heart merry. So enjoy!
A man goes to a bar with his dog. He goes up to the bar and asks for a drink. The bartender says “You can’t bring that dog in here!” The guy, without missing a beat, says “This is my seeing-eye dog.” “Oh man, ” the bartender says, “I’m sorry, here, the first one’s on me.” The man takes his drink and goes to a table near the door.
Another guy walks in the bar with a Chihuahua. The first guys sees him, stops him and says “You can’t bring that dog in here unless you tell him it’s a seeing-eye dog.” The second man graciously thanks the first man and continues to the bar. He asks for a drink. The bartender says “Hey, you can’t bring that dog in here!”
The second man replies “This is my seeing-eye dog.” The bartender says, “No, I don’t think so. They do not have Chihuahuas as seeing-eye dogs.” The man pauses for a half-second and replies “What?!?! They gave me a Chihuahua?!?”
“The Computer is Down”
Two priests died at the same time and met Saint Peter at the Pearly Gates. St. Peter said, “I’d like to get you guys in now, but our computer is down. You’ll have to go back to Earth for about a week, but you can’t go back as priests. So what else would you like to be?”
The first priest says, “I’ve always wanted to be an eagle, soaring above the Rocky Mountains.”
“So be it,” says St. Peter, and off flies the first priest.
The second priest mulls this over for a moment and asks, “Will any of this week ‘count’, St. Peter?”
“No, I told you the computer’s down. There’s no way we can keep track of what you’re doing.”
“In that case,” says the second priest, “I’ve always wanted to be a stud.”
“So be it,” says St. Peter, and the second priest disappears.
A week goes by, the computer is fixed, and the Lord tells St. Peter to recall the two priests. “Will you have any trouble locating them?” He asks.
“The first one should be easy,” says St. Peter. “He’s somewhere over the Rockies, flying with the eagles. But the second one could prove to be more difficult.”
“Why?” asketh the Lord.
“He’s on a snow tire, somewhere in North Dakota.”
OK, that’s all folks! Please remember to smile often, even when you don’t feel like it. Just the act or exercise of smiling, even with no emotion behind it, will cause healing endorphens to flow. As you relax and practice those grins, or even half-smiles, you will see that it is working its magic on your wounded heart. Promise yourself, Christian singles, you will avail yourself of this natural healing process, a true gift from God!