Dating Articles

36 Articles

Posted by Katherine on

Advantages of Online Christian Dating

Whether you are looking for a love-connection, a friend who will share your enthusiasm in a hobby or special interest, or just someone in your age group to correspond with, we have the largest selection of Christians singles available, over five million world wide. So broaden your horizon! At the same time that you are looking for your ideal Christian soul mate, you can make friends around the world from the comfort of your home.. Then you will be more excited when you hear your computer announcing, “You’ve got mail.” Would you like to find out more about revivals in Argentina? Or the churches’ growth in Russia since they’ve come out of their underground meetings to worship openly? Foreign correspondents will be just as eager to ask questions about your country, since the media isn’t interested in regular folks, but just in those who make news.

We will give you information about “Netiquette” to avoid embarrassing goofs; tell you, step by step, how to get your free Christian dating membership; how to save money on a subscription to a service; and special tips for seniors who may be entering Christian online dating for the first time. We will tell you when to let your new friend know your phone number or address, and the important precautions you should take, in the beginning, to protect your identity and much, much more. All of this will be interspersed with a little humor to give your beautiful smile and laugh a workout. Think of it as aerobics for the funny bone! Hey, why not indulge yourself? It’s free, non- fattening, and humor can chase the blues away. (A cheerful heart doeth good, like a medicine!)

And let’s face it, Christian singles, most of us do not have the nerve to walk up to a stranger at a singles’ party or class, and strike up a conversation. You wonder if they will welcome your interest, or if they will give you the cold shoulder. And if someone pursues you in a setting like that, and you know they’re not your type, then you are burdened with the unpleasant and sad task of somehow telling them you are not interested, or attracted to them. What a horrible predicament to be in, having to hurt their feelings. But thanks to online friendships, both of you can become friends, first, and then gradually decide if you want to pursue a relationship, or just remain friends. No one gets hurt, and the time has been well spent, keeping each other company and sharing thoughts and dreams. You can also begin by getting into a conversation in the chat room. If you don’t know much about the subject they are discussing, you can always ask questions to have some input, or just enjoy hearing all their views, storing away certain comments or ideas for later use when you have a one-on-one conversation with someone else. Or you could look for “rooms” separated by geographical location or a topic of interest, say discussions on prophecy, science & the Bible, or hobbies, cooking, etc. to hone your communications skills and meet new friends. We offer rooms in foreign languages, including Spanish, Tagalog and Portuguese, and we have a friendship room where you can find friends and pen pals. You may like to look through our online magazine, in which members are encouraged to submit short articles or statements on many subjects, such as “Should you kiss on the first date.” (The consensus of opinion was No.) It also gives you the opportunity to give a testimony of what the Lord has been doing in your life or expound on any subject you like. Through this magazine you will interact with other members, and feel more at home.

Posted by Katherine on

A Personal Ad Tutorial For Christian Women

To create an ad which will put you  above 95 % of the competition, Christian singles, follow the simple instructions ahead. Fortunately for women  the online dating scene is predominantly male in terms of numbers. This works to your advantage – more fish to choose from. This doesn’t mean that you can rest on your laurels however. You will still need at least a cursory knowledge of what motivates men, and your own original creative touch. 

Putting together a great ad will take a little effort, but will prove to be very rewarding both in the positive feedback from respondents and catching that ideal mate. 

Now, Let’s get started. 

First we must structure the ad to make the most sense while grabbing his attention and keeping him locked on you. Make him want to read your ad by using compelling imagery. Remember men are more visually stimulated than you are. (Generally speaking) 

The following are the simple steps to a great Christian dating ad.

1. First things first. Use a complimentary photo of yourself. Alluring is good, but remember that your audience is Christian men. Be careful not to offend their sensibilities. Be sure to project yourself as warm and inviting. Smile and look into the camera. Looking away makes you seem aloof. Use body language that says come a little bit closer.

2. Salutations – According to Parade magazine a simple Hi! is a great opener. no one expects you to open with complicated greetings. This is just the ice breaker.

3. Personal introduction – Give your first name and /or nickname if you wish.

4. Biographical information – Start out with an opener which will grab his attention and reach into his heart. Appeal to him emotionally.  Make him have to read your ad! After this stage give him the facts and fancies. You will want to paint a vivid mental picture of your life.

Be honest and avoid the heartbreak of separation caused by dishonesty. Maybe he would rather have a school marme than the Queen of Maldiva after all! Let him know your faith. The man who answers will need information on which to connect and converse about. 

This is your bio, Christian women, so include what you wish. Items usually mentioned are; age, occupation, marriage history and children, race, place of birth, where you live, favorite foods, entertainment, favorite Christian music, books, preferences, hobbies,  tastes,  education.

Finally, give him some tangible asset about yourself to make him want you. No boasting. Put it in such a way that you do not seem over the top. Put it something like – I’ve been told that I have a great laugh or that I’m a great cook. 

5. Your desires. Now that you have told him you know who you are, tell him  you know what you want. Do you want a down to earth guy? Say so. The macho men will be repelled and the man who appreciates it most will answer your call. Be descriptive and to the point!

6. Conclusion – Now that you have told him who you are and what you want, paint a picture of what your lives might be like together. Something romantically appealing works wonders. Woo him. Be careful in your invitation not to use negative or conditional words like – if you are the one. Instead of this use – you are the one I would love to warm up by the fire with. He will know when you are speaking to him, if he is the one. Use these final words to make him feel like a kindred soul. 

DEEP THOUGHTS…

ANIMAL MAGNETISM IS OVER RATED….

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As you can see, the same advice generally applies to single men as well.  However, Cherishmates Blog has some information of special interest to single Christian women in search of a lifetime partner in marriage. The importance of writing an intriguing profile (personal ad) is explained more thoroughly, as is the role of the dating service.

Inside Information : How Our Dating Service Works, And Some Of The Perks
The number of replies you get will depend greatly on the quality of your profile. Here are some helpful tips; Upload a photograph. People like to see who they are writing to, and, as a result, profiles with photographs get up to 10 times the clicks as those that don’t have a photograph. You can either upload a photo from a digital camera or a scanner. If you don’t have a scanner, we can do it for you (for a nominal fee). For a link to the section called “How do I upload photos” click our sponsor’s ad on this page and then click on HELP at the top of the page. Then click on “Tips to remember when creating a profile” and look for “how do I upload photos”.

Create a catchy title for your profile. When members search listings on the site, the title is listed next to your name. As a general rule, titles like “Hi” do not catch people’s attention, whereas more personalized titles do.

Think before you write. Feel free to write as much as you want in our essay portion of the signup pages. Tell other members about yourself; for instance, your likes and dislikes ( A note from Cherishmates: Go easy on your dislikes; A long list may give members the impression that you are too picky, or too hard to please, or that you are a negative person whom no one could satisfy.) Also, tell what line of work you’re in, describe your personality,  even your hopes and dreams. The better your profile describes you, the more likely it is that others will read and respond to it. If you can’t think of anything right away, you can always add more later. And don’t forget to fill out the optional profile questions- these will also help other members get to know you even better.

Posted by Katherine on

Men: How To Write a Great Personal Ad

Some of the key elements in your Christian dating ad which you may not have thought of, but are crucially important are; (and you will be judged on these points by your audience)

Is he articulate?                              Is she original?

Is she educated?                            Is he charming?

Is he interesting?                            Is she witty?

Is she courteous?                           Is he outgoing?

Finally – Is he willing to put forth some effort in his ad to win me?

As you can see there is much information to be gleaned from an ad you place. The way you write will tell who you are! 

How you write your ad will make the difference between-

This

This

and this

and This

As we have just seen it’s not what you say about yourself and your desires that will tell her about you. The ad composition itself will spell out who you are. Better to put your best literary foot forward to make a positive statement about just exactly who you are. It’s easy if you follow our great Christian Personal Ad Tutorial!

1. First things first, let’s begin with the picture. Women are not visually stimulated in the way men are, so seductive is not the key. You must be well groomed and approachable. Look into the camera. Looking away will make you seem aloof. Use inviting body language. Smile, and bear your neck dimple. (Where the collar bone meets the neck) Military uniforms and business suits (ties) cover this area for a reason. We cover this vulnerable area so as not to portray vulnerability. In your personal ad you want vulnerability. Remember you are targeting women.  For a more in depth overview of inviting body language see the section on body language in the Christian Dating 101 primer on the site map. 

2. Salutations – According to Parade magazine a simple Hi! is a great opener. no one expects you to open with complicated greetings. This is just the ice breaker.

3. Personal introduction – Give your name and or nickname if you wish.

4. Biographical information – Start out with an opener which will grab her attention and reach into her heart. Appeal to her emotionally. Women are emotionally centered. Make her have to read your ad! After this stage give her just the facts. This directness shows strength and confidence. Both are qualities which women need. These qualities trump all others.

Be honest and avoid the heartbreak of separation caused by dishonesty. Maybe she would rather have a plumber than the CEO of Microsoft after all! Let her know your faith. Women love conviction in a man.  

This is your Christian dating bio, so include what you wish. Items usually mentioned are; age, occupation, marriage history and children, race, place of birth, where you live, favorite foods, entertainment preferences, hobbies, music tastes, favorite Christian songs and books, and Bible verses.

Finally, give her some tangible asset about yourself to make her want you. No boasting. Put it in such a way that you do not seem arrogant. Put it something like – I’ve been told that I have a great sense of humor or that I’m a great cook. 

5. Your desires. Now that you have told them you know who you are, tell them you know what you want. Do you want a down to earth gal? Say so. The divas will be repelled and the woman who appreciates it most will answer your call. Be descriptive and to the point!

6. Conclusion – Now that you have told her who you are and what you want, paint a picture of what your lives would be like together. Something romantically appealing works wonders. In case you haven’t noticed women love romance. Woo her. Be careful in your invitation not to use negative or conditional words like – if you are the one. Instead of this use – you are the one I would love to warm up by the fire with. She will know when you are speaking to her, if she is the one. Use these final words to make her feel like a kindred soul. 

1. Salutation – Short, polite. Hi! or Hello, whatever best suits who you are. 

2. Descriptive adjectives – Positive and powerful superlatives which will enhance her imagery experience and build curiosity. Let your zest for life and love infect her through your description. This is all she has to go by at this point. 

3. Spelling and grammar – Look intelligent, educated, and thoughtful.! Consult a spell check or dictionary and correct errors. We are not all English professors, so perhaps you have a trusted friend who will help you formulate a correct and appealing ad. If you can do it all on your own then it is usually a good idea to have someone critique your writing. 

4. Warm text – Use key words that stimulate emotion. Words such as fun, romance, love, happiness, and feel give a warmth to your writing and will give her a positive reading experience. Again, this will give her a little insight as to what life with you might be like. 

5. Courtesy – Don’t use harsh language or slang. You will want to come across in a Christian dating forum as polite. Let your faith speak in the genteel tones of your words. Keep your eye on the ball, remember you are appealing to Christian women. 

We realize that there is a trend of extremism out there that feels the need to shock. This is even more prevalent online than in public since there is no authority to keep people like that in check. She will appreciate you even more for being a gentleman online. We stress this point which to most just seems like common sense because this is what gets the best results. 

Posted by Katherine on

Writing Unforgettable, Intriguing Personal Profiles

Hi! We have a treat in store for you; some dynamite tips to assure that you will have a rewarding first encounter with Christian online dating, and for those of you who are veterans of internet matchmaking, some ideas you won’t hear anywhere else.
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And another thing- why does an advice column have to be so dry and boring? Who says we can’t have fun? Is it written in stone somewhere? Is there room on the web for goofy people with off the wall ideas? We think there is, but to test this theory, we would like a critique of our sample personals ad, a profile of a challenging case for matchmaking, to say the least! But if we can find a date for Ralph, and we will, finding the perfect match for you will be a piece of cake! Here is Ralph’s pitch to the ladies out there. It is a profile of sublime positive thinking! Ralph has mastered the art of self-promotion, of focusing the reader on his greatest assets, and like the consummate salesman, he moves quickly to close the deal. When you write your own personals ad, you would be wise to “accentuate the positive” as Ralph does with breath-taking panache, indicating he is a world class raconteur and romantic. Here is the profile of a very unique gentleman seeking the girl of his dreams:
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LADIES; FORGET THOSE SPINELESS, SNIVELING PANTYWAISTS WHO ARE AFRAID TO COMMIT! COMMITMENT IS MY MIDDLE NAME!
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ralphs-christian-personal-ad1

Hi! I’m Ralph. Ladies, I’m tired of being looked upon as a sex object! I want a woman who will love me for my mind. Although I’m a tad physically-challenged, I’m still quite a specimen, as you can see!My friends say that I’m somewhat cerebral, And I don’t like to brag, but I’ve been invited to the most prestigious university laboratories in the world. If you are tired of mindless, knuckle-dragging Neanderthals, I’m the one for you!  Eagerly awaiting your response, my e-mail address is bonvivant2inajar@aol.com

Readers, don’t bother e-mailing Ralph. The address is part of the sample personals ad, not a real one. If Ralph’s ad doesn’t give you enough direction in writing a profile that will captivate the Christian  mate of your dreams, we have loads of great ideas and samples of attention-grabbing profiles in our How To Write A Great Personals Ad:

Come just as you are to the Christian Dating table. Placing an ad will be free and easy. You’re exposure will be greatly multiplied online. That exposure will only increase in the months and years to come since the internet is fast becoming the # 1 way to meet other singles.

In our programs there are millions of photo personals. You may literally search the world over or simply choose to conduct your campaign locally to find the mate God intends for you.

For those of you unfamiliar with Christian dating let us review a few facts. The search you conduct (some dating services search and select for you) will be based on your preferences and location. Once you are plugged in to one of our services you may make your own selection. The thing to bear in mind is that they are too. This means that you are going to have to get her or his attention and hold it.

The importance of photos and profile narratives and their quality is paramount. Logically it follows that you will want to place an ad about yourself which will excite the greatest interest in your potential viewers. You must know your audience. Important – Photo should have an easily visible (large view) of you. Most personals photos look like they were taken from far away. Get close, that’s the mood you want to convey to your audience.

Just ahead you will be learning how to sell yourself honestly and effectively. Make them swoon. This topic is so essential to your finding a perfect match, that I will devote another article or two. Your profile and photo must make you unforgettable, causing your potential Christian mate  to ignore the rest and choose the best, which is you, of course!

 

Posted by Katherine on

Christian Dating & Singles Coaching is Our Ministry

Dear visitor, Welcome to our Christian dating and singles coaching site! Let me begin by asking you  a few questions about some of the great paradoxes of our day. These are probably questions which you have not considered, but they are critically important issues for our purposes ahead.

Why is it that in this unique age of instant global communications people are more lonely than ever? In fact loneliness is a silent epidemic. Many people both young and old are driven to depression, despair, and even suicide by an inability to make meaningful personal connections with others. Many search want ads, surf the web, or join a Christian singles service (such as this) and exhaust themselves searching.

How could it be that with the ever growing armies of counselors and psychology “experts” the toll of broken relationships (and their fallout; depression, substance abuse etc.) is rising aggressively with no cures on the horizon? All they (the experts) have to offer is more of the same, which is proven not to work. No doubt you are aware that the divorce rate is at an historical all time high. It is so bad that children have even gotten into the act of divorcing their parents. There are other forms of estrangement which have become common place in our society which are especially peculiar to our generation: Elderly parents are sent off to homes, and it is common for parents to raise someone else’s children (Step children and adoptions) instead of their own. The estrangement (alienation) is rampant, we have become desensitized to it’s adverse effects and even it’s unnatural existence.

Posted by Katherine on

Introducing Christian Dating Coach Katherine Tapani

We are delighted to introduce you to our Christian Dating and Relationships Coach, Katherine Tapani, who will lead you through your first anxious attempts at writing a Personals ad. This new Christian dating blog is designed to bring Christian singles back to it again and again.  She will be sure that you connect with those singles in a warm and friendly way, and her sure hand will guide you through all the steps you will take in meeting and marrying the Christian man or woman who will bless your life with love and sweet companionship.

You will find her wisdom and humor very encouraging whether you are a novice at online dating, or have tried it before. We want your Cherishmates.com  experience to be exciting and satisfying in every way and your personal coach  is well qualified to gently lead you.  Her university degree with majors in Education, Journalism, and a minor in English set the stage for further studies, with emphasis on successful communication, body language, Happiness Seminars, Marriage and Family Dynamics, Coaching, and help for singles suffering depression, anxiety, and loneliness. Her favorite verse for singles in need is “A cheerful heart doeth good, like a medicine,” and she will reveal amazing Biblical prescriptions to overcome, once and for all, those emotions, destructive self-talk, and painful memories that have hindered many of you for too long.

Katherine was editor and publisher of a Christian newspaper called The New Life, and  contributed  articles on many subjects for several web sites, but her first love is exercising one of her spiritual gifts, that of encouraging and coaching others, especially her Christian brothers and sisters. Since God chose marriage as a means of providing a couple and their children the greatest possible life here on Earth, it is Katherine’s desire to coach you and your new love to give each other your very best! Again, we are thrilled to have Katherine Tapani sharing exciting new ideas that will make your personal ad and your communications unforgettable!