The Great Equalizer: Online Christian Dating

Christian dating online is a great equalizer, because women can answer a man’s ad without feeling they are too forward. It isn’t like asking a man for a date, offline. You are just saying, by responding to his ad, that he is interesting and you would like to know him better, to become friends, as well as sister and brother in Christ. Of course, ladies, you may choose to place your ad and photo and let the men approach you first. Christian singles, you have a great advantage over secular folks trying to find a love connection! You don’t have to put up a front, or pretend to be more witty, intelligent, “cool” or anything you might think he or she is looking for! Your correspondent is primarily interested in the kind of person you are, and in your love relationship with the Lord, because none of you want to be unequally yoked, falling in love with a person who does not feel the way you do about your mutual faith.

Christian online dating is also an equalizer for single men because they won’t experience the pressure many feel dating offline. They can be themselves, relaxed, and not worry about first impressions, or being compared with other guys, or pressured to spend a lot to impress a date. The shy among them will be able to come out of their shells, and gain confidence as they correspond with women and find those who will want to know them better.

Use discernment, Christian Singles! If you find a promising, although budding relationship online, please leave those rose-colored glasses in the drawer, and be emotionally prepared to guard your heart. It is so easy for vulnerable singles to read too much into those first tentative e-mails. Decide to consider this new friendship only as one possibility, and another single may be much more suitable and fulfilling. And please reserve your decisions about them until you have met their family and friends. This will protect you from a dating disaster!

Find out if they have emotional problems, are addicted, have poor work histories, and especially if they avoid telling you about their past. There are some red flags to watch out for, such as not letting you call them at home. Many cheating, married online dating subscribers will only give you a cell phone number, or their work number. If you do not realize they are married and you arrange to meet them for dinner, they may choose a restaurant that is far away from town, hoping no one will see you there. This is a problem on secular sites, but should not be a danger at Christian sites, obviously since married men and women who are believers would not, and could not, be that devious and sinful. (God’s laws are for our protection!) If subscribers to this dating service misbehave, or use vulgar language, any complaints about them will result in expulsion from our dating service if found true. Nevertheless, some people have stellar records, with no red flags, and yet they turn out to be frauds. A small minority of jerks can be found even on a Christian dating service, and sometimes people who have indiscernible mental disorders such as Narcissism or Borderline Personality Disorder, will search for dates online. These horrifying Personality Disorders will be covered in future articles, because you must arm yourself with knowledge of the warning signs, and unlikely resolution of the disorder In “Narcissism: I love me, I love me not” you will learn that people with personality disorders usually stay within the law, yet they devastate the lives of spouses and children. Be very careful not to ignore the signs, for you will not be able to change them! Their emotional illness runs deep, and all the love in the world will not stop their verbal and/or physical abuse. However, they appear to be normal, well adjusted people, so it is imperative that you spot the warning signs. Men outnumber women 3 to 1 in the personality disorder called Malignant Narcissism. Women outnumber men 2 to1 in Borderline Personality Disorder. Luckily for the rest of us, they are only a small fraction of the population, but I want to forewarn you, because they appear to be happy, playful, engaging singles when you first meet them. Many mentally disturbed people who appear to be normal also are in a great hurry to marry. From experience, they have learned that potential mates soon leave when they know them better. So, dear brother and sister, beware!