Get Off The Couch, Pursue Your Dream Mate!

The best advice I’ve ever seen on finding a mate came from a magazine, geared toward women, but applicable to men also. The advice was: If you want to marry, approach the adventure with energy, a positive attitude, and determination. Christian singles, you must put as much gusto into your search for a great mate as you did with anything you have ever accomplished: such as finishing college, buying a new home, or whatever you have worked hard to achieve. This goes for guys searching for a soulmate out there too!  Don’t just sit around, waiting for the love of your life to come knocking on your door! You will probably get a visit from Publisher’s Clearing House before you find your dream date at your doorstep! Forget the fantasies, and get to work. Instead, apply for a free membership and look the online dating service over. (you can click on ads here to get information, to get the ball rolling.)  Have in mind a list of the qualities you are looking for, and read the profiles available. Don’t stop there, but put together your own profile, after you have studied our tips for writing a great personal ad.  Be sure to include a recent photo of yourself, because it has been estimated that personal ads  that do not include a photo are only responded to by 8% to10% of the singles.

Online Dating Experiences Others Have Reported:

Angie, a non Christian, is about 55 years old. After her beloved husband died of cancer, she was alone and thought she had no reason to go on, but she had a friend who encouraged her to try online dating. She started, many months after losing her mate of 30 years. At first it was difficult, because she wasn’t used to relating to men as suitors, and she found it was very different communicating with them, after so many years of talking to the same man, with whom she shared many interests, and two children. She didn’t feel comfortable in replying to men’s personal ads, so she waited for responses to hers.

Hearing that there are dishonest people in the internet dating scene, Angie planned to check out the men who responded to her personal ad. She browsed through the services that give information about people and decided on Net Detective, where she could find a person’s name, address, phone number and age, and this also indicated whether the man was married. For a larger fee, she could find information about him, such as if he had ever been arrested, etc. She chose the premium service, and it came in handy, as she met many who were not what they professed to be. Fortunately, most of her dates were decent men. Since she lives in a city of over 1 million people, she did not correspond with men far away, but found many singles near home. Angie never gave them her address or last name until she felt comfortable doing so, and they were given her cell phone number, which could not be traced to her home. As you can see, Angie was very cautious. Soon she got responses, and went through the usual period of getting to know the ones who interested her. Then she began dating. On first dates, she and her date decided on a place to meet, and she drove herself to and from these restaurants which were busy, with plenty of people around. Angie felt that “there’s safety in numbers” so this was ideal for her peace of mind. Most of the men, though, did not stir up the “chemistry” she was looking for, although many were attractive and had good personalities.

After two years, she has not yet met a man she would like to spend the rest of her life with, but she doesn’t regret the time spent getting to know them. One that really attracted her, unfortunately had an addiction to alcohol, and when she found out, she broke off the relationship. Angie isn’t desperate to marry because she still compares these men to her late husband, and none measures up to her memory of him. One ugly experience was a particular dinner date when the man’s girlfriend appeared and an embarrassing feud erupted, with astonished diners gaping at the threesome. This was too much for Angie, and she left before the main course was served. She never heard from the man again, but she didn’t miss him. Such is life, when dating people from a secular dating service. This is not to say, Christian singles, that everyone listed in a Christian dating service will be perfect. However, if they are sincere about their faith, they will be looking for real love and commitment. Your patience in a long courtship will help you discern any problems before you have said, “I do” and if you do not marry in haste, you will not repent in leisure.

Avoid Flakes, Con artists With Secret Weapon

Don’t you feel sorry, Christian Singles,  for the poor souls trying to make a love connection on secular dating sites? These sites draw the most creeps, jerks, flakes and con artists, by far! This illustrates very clearly how fortunate we are that our Lord carefully defined for us what a Christian man or woman is all about! And for the same reason that the above mentioned creeps, etc., will generally stick up their noses at Christian online dating, your Christian brothers and sisters will embrace it, our secret weapon! We, after all, have read the same rule book, the Bible, and we go into a relationship, understanding we both will play by the same rules. We know the Lord expects us to be truthful, kind, and without guile. 

Your primary challenge will be to find a Christian date who has the same standards of conduct that you have, and who experiences intimacy with God as deeply as you do. As you know, Christians are quite varied, some just coming into the faith, and some far more mature in the deeper things of God. Of course the newly transformed believer can grow under the influence of a more seasoned believer, so if you meet one, and they are open and eager to grow in the Lord, that isn’t necessarily a stumbling block. It just means you will need to take time to help them grow. Once they discover the wonders of a close, personal relationship with God and feel His love and power flowing through them, they will be on fire, too!

In the adventure called Christian singles online dating, you will discover a virtual smorgasbord of characters, funny, creative, enthusiastic, intelligent, inspiring, caring, and thoughtful. You can bring out the best in them by complimenting them about aspects of their personality you admire. Everyone likes to know when they have inspired admiration, and it will please them all the more when they feel at ease with someone who obviously appreciates what they have to say. Be an encourager, lift their spirits, make them feel special. Also be prepared to share in their times of trouble, offering consoling words, a prayer, and words of hope for the future.

Young Singles Embrace Online Dating

The mad scientist below has it all wrong, he needs Cherishmates guide to finding love. There are no magic potions or formulas to becoming what you desire. You must – Esto qou audes- Be what you dare.
The mad scientist has it wrong
The mad scientist has it wrong

Younger single Christians are turning to the net in search of a lifetime partner, and many are finding one. Linda, a divorced mother with a young son, found a loving husband and father through an ad she placed online. She lived in a farming community, where few Christian single men were to be found. She was happy to move to his home in a state 300 miles away. You may remember a few years ago, when farmers in a Midwest state were advertising for women to marry them, because so many female singles were leaving to find careers in the big city. Since it takes a special kind of woman to feel comfortable living in a remote area, far from neighbors, together with long arduous hours feeding livestock, planting and harvesting, these farmers were desperate. Perhaps some of them eventually turned to online dating, since not all found wives, despite heavy media coverage.

But, as you all know, there is someone for everyone, and internet dating services can best bring two people together who would never have met, otherwise. Church singles groups can help, but have only a limited selection of available Christian singles. If you can afford a vacation through an organization like Club Med, that might be the answer, but I don’t know if there are any catering to Christian singles, and you have the same problem of face- to- face meetings, and the shyness that promotes. Personal ads in magazines and newspapers are not screened at all. Maybe it’s a case of “you get what you pay for” but if the service is too cheap, you may not find the quality people you are looking for.

Use Discernment, Christian Singles

Attractive men, but they might be cyber-lizards! Caution Ladies
Attractive men, but they might be cyber-lizards! Caution Ladies

Another obvious Christian singles’ dating disaster is what I call the “Cyber-Lizard” (borrowed from the term Lounge Lizard, a ne’er do well, who just slithers along, looking for some entertainment, at your expense.) The Cyber-Lizard is usually male, but there are a few female Cyber Lizards out there, too, so men, be forewarned. They have no intention of finding a mate, Christian singles; they just want some attention and they don’t mind wasting hours of your time. They probably spam several men or women at once with the same form letter, just changing the salutation. It might be hard to spot them at first, but you should see a pattern emerge. They won’t be very interested in your views, opinions, or dreams, and probably won’t remember what you said in a previous e-mail! They will prove to be just as lukewarm about the Lord, too, which should send you packing! They probably won’t seem eager to meet, but would rather prolong the cyber-relationship forever.

Like the Cyber-Lizard, the Raunchy-mouthed Recluse uses chat rooms and personals ads just to while away their time. They are generally unemployed, possibly on the dole. In other words, they have a lot of time on their hands. This may be their only social outlet, and more than likely, their parents are happy to pay for their use of dating and friendship services, since it keeps them busy and out of their hair. It isn’t a crime to waste another’s time, so the family thinks they have solved their problems when the Recluse finds online diversions that keep him or her occupied. Christian singles, you can spot the Recluse by the language they use. If they are vulgar, report them to the dating service at once so they can be removed from the list. They will not be bright, but will communicate at about a 6th grade level. If you ever wondered who would send vulgar e-mails, this is it! Picture them, unkempt, hair matted, and dirty. Loners, due to their own laziness. Some of the potty mouths are obnoxious under-achievers, mad at the world and want to tell everyone off. They are incapable of communicating intelligently. Their interests will seem juvenile, because they are. I’m sure you will catch on to them early, so they should only be a momentary irritation. There are other cyber-pests looking for trusting singles, and you should become aware of con artists who prowl the dating sites looking for prey.

Now that Seniors are entering the internet dating scene, there is another class of cyber-pests that seniors (and others) need to watch for; the con artist. Of course, con artists ply their trade offline too. An example of offline con artists: A 95 year old man who has escaped the Grim Reaper despite many surgeries and illnesses, is discovering that many women (and a few relatives he hasn’t seen in 50 years) suddenly recall that he promised to take care of them in his will. Some have even retained an attorney to fight for their share of his rather modest estate. Luckily for him, though most of his body parts hardly function, his mind is sharp, and he is determined to fight them. There are many other crooks trying to fleece seniors off line too, such as companies who over charge older customers, and relatives who move in to “take care” of their loved one. Please, Christian seniors, take the advice IN CAPS below and you will not be taken advantage of by these mooches. Generally, they try to stay within the law, and few are dangerous.

Con artists are looking for someone who is an easy target. Seniors, be on the lookout for this type because there are many elderly with meager pensions, and many younger men and women who are looking for a meal ticket, too. Of course, many seniors, male and female, are in the same boat- without a comfortable pension, but you can tell the honest ones from the cons, because the honest ones will want to marry, and they will not pressure you about changing your will or ask about your property or savings. LET THEM KNOW THAT YOU HAVE LEFT EVERYTHING YOU OWN TO YOUR CHILDREN, INCLUDING YOUR HOME, AND SEE IF THEY LOSE INTEREST. If they do, you will know they had an ulterior motive. But remember, senior Christian singles, the vast majority of seniors who join a dating service are sincere people, who are tired of living alone, and they have so much to share with you, a lifetime of knowledge and experience. Some seniors would be willing to move to your locality should you make a love connection. You should find out, early on, if they really are willing to move, if you are not able or willing to leave your own home, family, and friends. This will save some heartache later, when you fall in love, but neither of you can leave your home town, for whatever reason. It would be wise to search for Christian singles in your area first, if you are not willing to move. Our service makes that easy for you, because our singles are listed by country state, county, city. If you do want to meet an interesting single from another state though, it’s always best to be upfront and honest, right from the beginning. After all, there are multitudes of Christian singles to choose from, and eventually you will meet someone just right for you. Every day new prospective mates join the Christian dating service, so keep watching for someone who fits your “wish list.” Of course, that said, you might want to see if you are willing to make exceptions to your wish list, if a person is perfect for you in many other ways. Flexibility is wise, so that you do not pass up a wonderful person.

Statistics show that the senior dating market is larger than ever before, because over 40 % of seniors are now single. Perhaps divorce is the reason this is so because years ago, people stayed married no matter what their marital problems were. Seniors are also living longer, too, and most try to stay fit and healthy. So there’s a vast number of senior Christian singles out there, and many are now looking for love, online.

The Great Equalizer: Online Christian Dating

Christian dating online is a great equalizer, because women can answer a man’s ad without feeling they are too forward. It isn’t like asking a man for a date, offline. You are just saying, by responding to his ad, that he is interesting and you would like to know him better, to become friends, as well as sister and brother in Christ. Of course, ladies, you may choose to place your ad and photo and let the men approach you first. Christian singles, you have a great advantage over secular folks trying to find a love connection! You don’t have to put up a front, or pretend to be more witty, intelligent, “cool” or anything you might think he or she is looking for! Your correspondent is primarily interested in the kind of person you are, and in your love relationship with the Lord, because none of you want to be unequally yoked, falling in love with a person who does not feel the way you do about your mutual faith.

Christian online dating is also an equalizer for single men because they won’t experience the pressure many feel dating offline. They can be themselves, relaxed, and not worry about first impressions, or being compared with other guys, or pressured to spend a lot to impress a date. The shy among them will be able to come out of their shells, and gain confidence as they correspond with women and find those who will want to know them better.

Use discernment, Christian Singles! If you find a promising, although budding relationship online, please leave those rose-colored glasses in the drawer, and be emotionally prepared to guard your heart. It is so easy for vulnerable singles to read too much into those first tentative e-mails. Decide to consider this new friendship only as one possibility, and another single may be much more suitable and fulfilling. And please reserve your decisions about them until you have met their family and friends. This will protect you from a dating disaster!

Find out if they have emotional problems, are addicted, have poor work histories, and especially if they avoid telling you about their past. There are some red flags to watch out for, such as not letting you call them at home. Many cheating, married online dating subscribers will only give you a cell phone number, or their work number. If you do not realize they are married and you arrange to meet them for dinner, they may choose a restaurant that is far away from town, hoping no one will see you there. This is a problem on secular sites, but should not be a danger at Christian sites, obviously since married men and women who are believers would not, and could not, be that devious and sinful. (God’s laws are for our protection!) If subscribers to this dating service misbehave, or use vulgar language, any complaints about them will result in expulsion from our dating service if found true. Nevertheless, some people have stellar records, with no red flags, and yet they turn out to be frauds. A small minority of jerks can be found even on a Christian dating service, and sometimes people who have indiscernible mental disorders such as Narcissism or Borderline Personality Disorder, will search for dates online. These horrifying Personality Disorders will be covered in future articles, because you must arm yourself with knowledge of the warning signs, and unlikely resolution of the disorder In “Narcissism: I love me, I love me not” you will learn that people with personality disorders usually stay within the law, yet they devastate the lives of spouses and children. Be very careful not to ignore the signs, for you will not be able to change them! Their emotional illness runs deep, and all the love in the world will not stop their verbal and/or physical abuse. However, they appear to be normal, well adjusted people, so it is imperative that you spot the warning signs. Men outnumber women 3 to 1 in the personality disorder called Malignant Narcissism. Women outnumber men 2 to1 in Borderline Personality Disorder. Luckily for the rest of us, they are only a small fraction of the population, but I want to forewarn you, because they appear to be happy, playful, engaging singles when you first meet them. Many mentally disturbed people who appear to be normal also are in a great hurry to marry. From experience, they have learned that potential mates soon leave when they know them better. So, dear brother and sister, beware!

Advantages of Online Christian Dating

Whether you are looking for a love-connection, a friend who will share your enthusiasm in a hobby or special interest, or just someone in your age group to correspond with, we have the largest selection of Christians singles available, over five million world wide. So broaden your horizon! At the same time that you are looking for your ideal Christian soul mate, you can make friends around the world from the comfort of your home.. Then you will be more excited when you hear your computer announcing, “You’ve got mail.” Would you like to find out more about revivals in Argentina? Or the churches’ growth in Russia since they’ve come out of their underground meetings to worship openly? Foreign correspondents will be just as eager to ask questions about your country, since the media isn’t interested in regular folks, but just in those who make news.

We will give you information about “Netiquette” to avoid embarrassing goofs; tell you, step by step, how to get your free Christian dating membership; how to save money on a subscription to a service; and special tips for seniors who may be entering Christian online dating for the first time. We will tell you when to let your new friend know your phone number or address, and the important precautions you should take, in the beginning, to protect your identity and much, much more. All of this will be interspersed with a little humor to give your beautiful smile and laugh a workout. Think of it as aerobics for the funny bone! Hey, why not indulge yourself? It’s free, non- fattening, and humor can chase the blues away. (A cheerful heart doeth good, like a medicine!)

And let’s face it, Christian singles, most of us do not have the nerve to walk up to a stranger at a singles’ party or class, and strike up a conversation. You wonder if they will welcome your interest, or if they will give you the cold shoulder. And if someone pursues you in a setting like that, and you know they’re not your type, then you are burdened with the unpleasant and sad task of somehow telling them you are not interested, or attracted to them. What a horrible predicament to be in, having to hurt their feelings. But thanks to online friendships, both of you can become friends, first, and then gradually decide if you want to pursue a relationship, or just remain friends. No one gets hurt, and the time has been well spent, keeping each other company and sharing thoughts and dreams. You can also begin by getting into a conversation in the chat room. If you don’t know much about the subject they are discussing, you can always ask questions to have some input, or just enjoy hearing all their views, storing away certain comments or ideas for later use when you have a one-on-one conversation with someone else. Or you could look for “rooms” separated by geographical location or a topic of interest, say discussions on prophecy, science & the Bible, or hobbies, cooking, etc. to hone your communications skills and meet new friends. We offer rooms in foreign languages, including Spanish, Tagalog and Portuguese, and we have a friendship room where you can find friends and pen pals. You may like to look through our online magazine, in which members are encouraged to submit short articles or statements on many subjects, such as “Should you kiss on the first date.” (The consensus of opinion was No.) It also gives you the opportunity to give a testimony of what the Lord has been doing in your life or expound on any subject you like. Through this magazine you will interact with other members, and feel more at home.

A Personal Ad Tutorial For Christian Women

To create an ad which will put you  above 95 % of the competition, Christian singles, follow the simple instructions ahead. Fortunately for women  the online dating scene is predominantly male in terms of numbers. This works to your advantage – more fish to choose from. This doesn’t mean that you can rest on your laurels however. You will still need at least a cursory knowledge of what motivates men, and your own original creative touch. 

Putting together a great ad will take a little effort, but will prove to be very rewarding both in the positive feedback from respondents and catching that ideal mate. 

Now, Let’s get started. 

First we must structure the ad to make the most sense while grabbing his attention and keeping him locked on you. Make him want to read your ad by using compelling imagery. Remember men are more visually stimulated than you are. (Generally speaking) 

The following are the simple steps to a great Christian dating ad.

1. First things first. Use a complimentary photo of yourself. Alluring is good, but remember that your audience is Christian men. Be careful not to offend their sensibilities. Be sure to project yourself as warm and inviting. Smile and look into the camera. Looking away makes you seem aloof. Use body language that says come a little bit closer.

2. Salutations – According to Parade magazine a simple Hi! is a great opener. no one expects you to open with complicated greetings. This is just the ice breaker.

3. Personal introduction – Give your first name and /or nickname if you wish.

4. Biographical information – Start out with an opener which will grab his attention and reach into his heart. Appeal to him emotionally.  Make him have to read your ad! After this stage give him the facts and fancies. You will want to paint a vivid mental picture of your life.

Be honest and avoid the heartbreak of separation caused by dishonesty. Maybe he would rather have a school marme than the Queen of Maldiva after all! Let him know your faith. The man who answers will need information on which to connect and converse about. 

This is your bio, Christian women, so include what you wish. Items usually mentioned are; age, occupation, marriage history and children, race, place of birth, where you live, favorite foods, entertainment, favorite Christian music, books, preferences, hobbies,  tastes,  education.

Finally, give him some tangible asset about yourself to make him want you. No boasting. Put it in such a way that you do not seem over the top. Put it something like – I’ve been told that I have a great laugh or that I’m a great cook. 

5. Your desires. Now that you have told him you know who you are, tell him  you know what you want. Do you want a down to earth guy? Say so. The macho men will be repelled and the man who appreciates it most will answer your call. Be descriptive and to the point!

6. Conclusion – Now that you have told him who you are and what you want, paint a picture of what your lives might be like together. Something romantically appealing works wonders. Woo him. Be careful in your invitation not to use negative or conditional words like – if you are the one. Instead of this use – you are the one I would love to warm up by the fire with. He will know when you are speaking to him, if he is the one. Use these final words to make him feel like a kindred soul. 




As you can see, the same advice generally applies to single men as well.  However, Cherishmates Blog has some information of special interest to single Christian women in search of a lifetime partner in marriage. The importance of writing an intriguing profile (personal ad) is explained more thoroughly, as is the role of the dating service.

Inside Information : How Our Dating Service Works, And Some Of The Perks
The number of replies you get will depend greatly on the quality of your profile. Here are some helpful tips; Upload a photograph. People like to see who they are writing to, and, as a result, profiles with photographs get up to 10 times the clicks as those that don’t have a photograph. You can either upload a photo from a digital camera or a scanner. If you don’t have a scanner, we can do it for you (for a nominal fee). For a link to the section called “How do I upload photos” click our sponsor’s ad on this page and then click on HELP at the top of the page. Then click on “Tips to remember when creating a profile” and look for “how do I upload photos”.

Create a catchy title for your profile. When members search listings on the site, the title is listed next to your name. As a general rule, titles like “Hi” do not catch people’s attention, whereas more personalized titles do.

Think before you write. Feel free to write as much as you want in our essay portion of the signup pages. Tell other members about yourself; for instance, your likes and dislikes ( A note from Cherishmates: Go easy on your dislikes; A long list may give members the impression that you are too picky, or too hard to please, or that you are a negative person whom no one could satisfy.) Also, tell what line of work you’re in, describe your personality,  even your hopes and dreams. The better your profile describes you, the more likely it is that others will read and respond to it. If you can’t think of anything right away, you can always add more later. And don’t forget to fill out the optional profile questions- these will also help other members get to know you even better.

Men: How To Write a Great Personal Ad

Some of the key elements in your Christian dating ad which you may not have thought of, but are crucially important are; (and you will be judged on these points by your audience)

Is he articulate?                              Is she original?

Is she educated?                            Is he charming?

Is he interesting?                            Is she witty?

Is she courteous?                           Is he outgoing?

Finally – Is he willing to put forth some effort in his ad to win me?

As you can see there is much information to be gleaned from an ad you place. The way you write will tell who you are! 

How you write your ad will make the difference between-


and this
and This

As we have just seen it’s not what you say about yourself and your desires that will tell her about you. The ad composition itself will spell out who you are. Better to put your best literary foot forward to make a positive statement about just exactly who you are. It’s easy if you follow our great Christian Personal Ad Tutorial!

1. First things first, let’s begin with the picture. Women are not visually stimulated in the way men are, so seductive is not the key. You must be well groomed and approachable. Look into the camera. Looking away will make you seem aloof. Use inviting body language. Smile, and bear your neck dimple. (Where the collar bone meets the neck) Military uniforms and business suits (ties) cover this area for a reason. We cover this vulnerable area so as not to portray vulnerability. In your personal ad you want vulnerability. Remember you are targeting women.  For a more in depth overview of inviting body language see the section on body language in the Christian Dating 101 primer on the site map. 

2. Salutations – According to Parade magazine a simple Hi! is a great opener. no one expects you to open with complicated greetings. This is just the ice breaker.

3. Personal introduction – Give your name and or nickname if you wish.

4. Biographical information – Start out with an opener which will grab her attention and reach into her heart. Appeal to her emotionally. Women are emotionally centered. Make her have to read your ad! After this stage give her just the facts. This directness shows strength and confidence. Both are qualities which women need. These qualities trump all others.

Be honest and avoid the heartbreak of separation caused by dishonesty. Maybe she would rather have a plumber than the CEO of Microsoft after all! Let her know your faith. Women love conviction in a man.  

This is your Christian dating bio, so include what you wish. Items usually mentioned are; age, occupation, marriage history and children, race, place of birth, where you live, favorite foods, entertainment preferences, hobbies, music tastes, favorite Christian songs and books, and Bible verses.

Finally, give her some tangible asset about yourself to make her want you. No boasting. Put it in such a way that you do not seem arrogant. Put it something like – I’ve been told that I have a great sense of humor or that I’m a great cook. 

5. Your desires. Now that you have told them you know who you are, tell them you know what you want. Do you want a down to earth gal? Say so. The divas will be repelled and the woman who appreciates it most will answer your call. Be descriptive and to the point!

6. Conclusion – Now that you have told her who you are and what you want, paint a picture of what your lives would be like together. Something romantically appealing works wonders. In case you haven’t noticed women love romance. Woo her. Be careful in your invitation not to use negative or conditional words like – if you are the one. Instead of this use – you are the one I would love to warm up by the fire with. She will know when you are speaking to her, if she is the one. Use these final words to make her feel like a kindred soul. 

1. Salutation – Short, polite. Hi! or Hello, whatever best suits who you are. 

2. Descriptive adjectives – Positive and powerful superlatives which will enhance her imagery experience and build curiosity. Let your zest for life and love infect her through your description. This is all she has to go by at this point. 

3. Spelling and grammar – Look intelligent, educated, and thoughtful.! Consult a spell check or dictionary and correct errors. We are not all English professors, so perhaps you have a trusted friend who will help you formulate a correct and appealing ad. If you can do it all on your own then it is usually a good idea to have someone critique your writing. 

4. Warm text – Use key words that stimulate emotion. Words such as fun, romance, love, happiness, and feel give a warmth to your writing and will give her a positive reading experience. Again, this will give her a little insight as to what life with you might be like. 

5. Courtesy – Don’t use harsh language or slang. You will want to come across in a Christian dating forum as polite. Let your faith speak in the genteel tones of your words. Keep your eye on the ball, remember you are appealing to Christian women. 

We realize that there is a trend of extremism out there that feels the need to shock. This is even more prevalent online than in public since there is no authority to keep people like that in check. She will appreciate you even more for being a gentleman online. We stress this point which to most just seems like common sense because this is what gets the best results. 

Writing Unforgettable, Intriguing Personal Profiles

Hi! We have a treat in store for you; some dynamite tips to assure that you will have a rewarding first encounter with Christian online dating, and for those of you who are veterans of internet matchmaking, some ideas you won’t hear anywhere else.
And another thing- why does an advice column have to be so dry and boring? Who says we can’t have fun? Is it written in stone somewhere? Is there room on the web for goofy people with off the wall ideas? We think there is, but to test this theory, we would like a critique of our sample personals ad, a profile of a challenging case for matchmaking, to say the least! But if we can find a date for Ralph, and we will, finding the perfect match for you will be a piece of cake! Here is Ralph’s pitch to the ladies out there. It is a profile of sublime positive thinking! Ralph has mastered the art of self-promotion, of focusing the reader on his greatest assets, and like the consummate salesman, he moves quickly to close the deal. When you write your own personals ad, you would be wise to “accentuate the positive” as Ralph does with breath-taking panache, indicating he is a world class raconteur and romantic. Here is the profile of a very unique gentleman seeking the girl of his dreams:

Hi! I’m Ralph. Ladies, I’m tired of being looked upon as a sex object! I want a woman who will love me for my mind. Although I’m a tad physically-challenged, I’m still quite a specimen, as you can see!My friends say that I’m somewhat cerebral, And I don’t like to brag, but I’ve been invited to the most prestigious university laboratories in the world. If you are tired of mindless, knuckle-dragging Neanderthals, I’m the one for you!  Eagerly awaiting your response, my e-mail address is

Readers, don’t bother e-mailing Ralph. The address is part of the sample personals ad, not a real one. If Ralph’s ad doesn’t give you enough direction in writing a profile that will captivate the Christian  mate of your dreams, we have loads of great ideas and samples of attention-grabbing profiles in our How To Write A Great Personals Ad:

Come just as you are to the Christian Dating table. Placing an ad will be free and easy. You’re exposure will be greatly multiplied online. That exposure will only increase in the months and years to come since the internet is fast becoming the # 1 way to meet other singles.

In our programs there are millions of photo personals. You may literally search the world over or simply choose to conduct your campaign locally to find the mate God intends for you.

For those of you unfamiliar with Christian dating let us review a few facts. The search you conduct (some dating services search and select for you) will be based on your preferences and location. Once you are plugged in to one of our services you may make your own selection. The thing to bear in mind is that they are too. This means that you are going to have to get her or his attention and hold it.

The importance of photos and profile narratives and their quality is paramount. Logically it follows that you will want to place an ad about yourself which will excite the greatest interest in your potential viewers. You must know your audience. Important – Photo should have an easily visible (large view) of you. Most personals photos look like they were taken from far away. Get close, that’s the mood you want to convey to your audience.

Just ahead you will be learning how to sell yourself honestly and effectively. Make them swoon. This topic is so essential to your finding a perfect match, that I will devote another article or two. Your profile and photo must make you unforgettable, causing your potential Christian mate  to ignore the rest and choose the best, which is you, of course!


Christian Dating & Singles Coaching is Our Ministry

Dear visitor, Welcome to our Christian dating and singles coaching site! Let me begin by asking you  a few questions about some of the great paradoxes of our day. These are probably questions which you have not considered, but they are critically important issues for our purposes ahead.

Why is it that in this unique age of instant global communications people are more lonely than ever? In fact loneliness is a silent epidemic. Many people both young and old are driven to depression, despair, and even suicide by an inability to make meaningful personal connections with others. Many search want ads, surf the web, or join a Christian singles service (such as this) and exhaust themselves searching.

How could it be that with the ever growing armies of counselors and psychology “experts” the toll of broken relationships (and their fallout; depression, substance abuse etc.) is rising aggressively with no cures on the horizon? All they (the experts) have to offer is more of the same, which is proven not to work. No doubt you are aware that the divorce rate is at an historical all time high. It is so bad that children have even gotten into the act of divorcing their parents. There are other forms of estrangement which have become common place in our society which are especially peculiar to our generation: Elderly parents are sent off to homes, and it is common for parents to raise someone else’s children (Step children and adoptions) instead of their own. The estrangement (alienation) is rampant, we have become desensitized to it’s adverse effects and even it’s unnatural existence.