Loneliness Hides Behind Depression

Loneliness doesn’t come to the doctor, presenting itself; it comes as a more socially acceptable issue, such as depression, anger or addiction. Christian Singles, some people are ashamed to admit they are lonely, but they shouldn’t be. They feel there must be something unacceptable, unattractive or something wrong with them or they would attract others to them. We will unmask the real culprit later, and it won’t be physical appearance, social status, or education, because we all know of people who are lacking in those areas and still have plenty of love and friends in their lives. We MUST understand the savage hold of the enemy of our souls before we can be set free, so please take to heart these observations so you will have all the ammunition you need to conquer fears, misperceptions, old hurt from unkind people long ago, and present feelings of hopelessness. Step by step you will see that we are actually fighting a paper tiger whose main advantage is deception and the ability to make you believe the worst, instead of believing in a bright and happy future, available to you through faith in Christ and His power to change things for your benefit.

Men deal with loneliness differently than women. First, they don’t seem to bond with men as easily or quickly as women do with each other. Hollywood idolizes the Lone Ranger hero who is strong and self-reliant. Unless men are thrown together as in war, where their lives are in their comrade’s hands, they tend to have only superficial male relationships. Here is a true story of a family member’s military experience that so aptly illustrates this:

“I recall when I was in the Army an old First Sergeant told me “You will never know other men like you do now.” He went on to explain that most of a man’s life is spent with his wife, children, family, and job. Outside of the Army you don’t really get to know other men. Here you depend upon each other for survival, and you spend long hours working together to accomplish difficult tasks which are rarely paralleled on the outside. I was in the 82nd Airborne Division, and we spent about eight months of the year gone in the field, to all parts of the world. Being in the infantry we worked together in very close conditions, in fox holes, and crammed together like sardines in aircraft headed to our next mission.

On missions we depended upon the guy behind us to check our gear pre-jump, one small mistake, such as a misrouted static line around your equipment and you could crash and burn. We spent many hours planning and preparing missions and equipment together not to mention executing the missions.

With all of this interaction I never felt lonely. There were times I was exhausted, bored, nervous, or even homesick, but never lonely.

I can still remember the men I served with twenty years ago very clearly. My memory of people I’ve worked with in the past five years is not nearly as strong. The old First Sergeant was right. Now I spend little time (comparatively) with other men.

Now getting back to business. The point of my personal story above is that spending time with and depending upon others in any community brings a certain “Esprit De Corps” or strong sense of belonging and responsibility to a group much bigger than yourself. The people of 200 years ago also had relationships at their best. They forged deep lifelong and loyal friendships. They knew how necessary their friends and family were to them, and even though they could not pick up a phone and talk to their loved ones as we can, they wrote long letters, so touching and eloquent, many have been saved and cherished through generations. This is not to say, Christian singles, that we don’t have a great advantage today, online and off, with all the instant ways of connecting, for surely we can hear our loved ones voices whenever we wish. But still, let us build those abiding and trusting relationships of yesteryear, and ones like the old Sergeant described. This is the real stuff of life, with, most importantly, a deep love for our Savior.” Bonding into strong family units and friendships might require getting rid of some habits and time wasters and spending more time with loved ones. Researching our time spent on video games, television, and other solitary habits and addictions, could reveal many free hours which could revolutionize our lives! Why not demand more of life?

What does this mean for you? A more excellent way of life rich with rewards. An old poem declares:

I labored for a menials hire,
Only to learn dismayed,
That any wage I would have asked of life,
Life would have gladly paid.- J. B. Rittenhouse

If you, dear reader desire splendid relationships full of warmth, happiness, and passion life will be glad to pay you that wage. Life is all about people, there is nothing else except things. These are not tools to manipulate others but are best used to establish deeper and more rewarding relations with people.

The Lord has purposed that we should have life and love more abundantly:

John 10:10 “The thief cometh not, but for to steal and to kill and to destroy: I am come that they might have life, and that they might have it more abundantly.”

God says that you can have these things, what has been holding you back? Certainly not God.