When you take the following evaluation of yourself, Christian singles, your confidence will rise quickly as you see that you already possess quite a powerful resume of good works, attitudes and beliefs. You are not starting your self improvement program from the bottom of the heap, no, to the contrary, the following criteria will prove it to you. My premise is that the very things God has instilled in you will be the qualities a prospective Christian mate will look for in you! Let’s face it; Christian men and women prize the same spiritual attributes that God does in His children. These wondrous assets that most of you already possess, having made it a priority to become more Christ-like, will dazzle your admirers!
While we accept that all of us are flawed (only the dead have no annoying habits and they never get on anyone’s nerves, unless a living person is reminiscing about them!) your good qualities will far outweigh these flaws and make the task of shooting down your negative attitudes easy, seeing what a storehouse of Christ-like attributes you already have.
Your confidence will soar, Christian singles, giving you the strength to overcome and remove things from the old sin nature of the past. For instance, forgiveness will become easier and bad habits like chronic complaining can be overcome. (God called it “murmuring “in the Old Testament, and as you noticed, He wasn’t amused!) If you are depressed and lonely you may have said things like, “Why do other Christians have happy marriages and a comfortable living, but not me? (This may be a perception and might not be factual; we don’t really know what goes on behind closed doors.) But even if true, we should not give in to envy and jealousy, which lead to murmuring). Actually, complaining is an affirmation that you speak upon yourself, and you accept this lower status for yourself as you speak it into existence by your very words. Remember, what you speak, your mind accepts as fact and acts upon it. Complaining becomes a vicious circle, canceling out opportunities that come your way because you’ve convinced yourself that you will never have a happy, contented life. Do you see yourself in the above paragraph, brother or sister? If so please pay close attention, won’t you?
This principle applies to many other complaints you will have a difficult time overcoming if you declare in your mind that it’s your lot in life to never experience the abundant life you can have in Christ. Here is a clue to overcoming these negative thoughts; “Take every thought into captivity”. You, after all, control those negative thoughts. They must not be allowed to control you! When hurtful memories, jealous thoughts, self-pity, etc. pop into your mind, always rebuke the thought and banish it. The best way to accomplish this is to have a Bible verse (one of God’s promises) to declare, which will decimate satan’s lie, such as “I can do ALL things through Christ who strengthens me.”
Let’s return to your evaluation of your strong points. Remember, the qualities God loves, both you and your perspective Christian date will be looking for in one another. First, begin by listing your strongest attributes. Don’t be modest; these qualities will attract people to you. NOTE: I am not referring to your personal appearance, wealth, education, ability to make others laugh or be the life of the party, or other superficial assets. We have to dig deeper, into your soul and your life experiences to find the special characteristics that others highly prize. If you are trustworthy; if you help people in need; if you encourage and uplift the spirits of others; if you avoid gossip or character assassination; if you never abuse, use or manipulate others; if you have studied your Bible and lived out the precepts it teaches, and if you are gentle, forgiving, kind and thoughtful, people will see the glow and loving kindness of the Savior in your eyes and your deeds, evident to all who know you, even in your weakened condition with sadness and fading hope, that loneliness brings.
Please think of the kindness and positive things you do despite all you are going through and acknowledge you are a force for positive change on the earth, a light shining in the darkness! The Lord sees your compassion and knows what it has cost you to help someone in the midst of your own pain.